April 2010
1 post
March 2010
4 posts
Damn, but closure is a glorious motherfucker.... →
OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!!
His wife got a promotion. Allegedly, they will be moving to another state in the next two weeks. As I write this, my husband is next door having a drink with him. I would be too, if I were in the right state of mind. Like, “SO! Really?! You’re moving?! Now, this is a sure thing, right? Also [this part would be mumbled], don’t let the door hit you in the ass on your way...
There are flowers blooming in his back yard, which...
I realize it’s petty, but I find myself resenting that.
*One* good thing about living next door to a...
When my dogs are making excessive noise (particularly since our neighbors to the other side are hard of hearing, anyway), I really don’t think it’s likely he’ll call the cops. I mean, that’s quite the glass house for him to be living in. (Which we also lived in, for 10 years). (I mean we literally lived there.) (The ‘glass’ bit is metaphorical, however.) (That...
October 2009
4 posts
REALLY not sure what to make of my neighbor's new...
Would that be because he has an extra-special agenda that transcends regular political processes, or because as a felon he’s not likely to have full voting rights? (Ass.)
Oh. My. God.
A… um… thing just happened next door that I can’t even begin to wrap my head around in order to write about it. Nothing illegal as best one can discern, but still, insane, ridiculous, uncomfortable, and GROSS. I feel like I’m in an incredibly bad movie and waiting with increasingly abject horror to see how it all ends. (There exists a very real possibility things could get...
There's a dude with a clipboard who just knocked...
Census worker? Political campaigner? Parole Officer? Wish to God I knew.
September 2009
28 posts
The weather is nice and our youngest wants to play...
As had been her habit. And we’re saying no without giving any clear reason, since I can’t quite see telling her, “Sorry kid, but the guy next door has been drinking all day on his back porch, and also he has a conviction for aggravated sodomy of a child under the age of 10.” I hate him.
1:00 AM, early Sunday morning
The path of least resistance / subtle avoidance is thwarted because my dog has to pee. It’s raining out, so I know he’ll need persuasion - there’ll be no letting him out on the porch and simply waiting until he’s done - I have to physically carry him into the yard, set him down, actively encourage him to complete his business. So I’m out there and then I notice the...
Notes on a strategy of subtle avoidance
The other night we had guests on the back porch and the entire time I was thinking “Oh fuck, that guy better not come out on his porch too, waving hello and expecting to be invited over.” He did come out though. I avoided eye contact until he went away. I wonder if he knows he’s being frozen out this way, incrementally. Last week’s casual chit-chat across the fence was a...
I used to fuss at our dogs when they barked at my...
Now I want to join ‘em.
Yesterday there was loud arguing next door
… between the neighbor and his visiting son. (Who had previously lived there with his mom, but left shortly after his dad moved in.) I could have probably made out at least some of what they were saying, but didn’t. (I do have some limits with regard to amounts of toxicity I can tolerate.) I felt bad for the son. It’s pretty clear he hates his dad (has made comments to this...
"Wow. You look a lot younger than that."
He thought it was a complement. I didn’t take it that way (but managed a polite, noncomittal semi-smile).
He is talking about how he couldn't stand being...
I didn’t ask what it was like going without access to any kind of kitchen at all. (“You know, in prison. How many years was that, again? Something in the neighborhood of 10?”)
Who knows, maybe he'll offer details about some...
Which would be a parole violation. (I already have his parole officer’s phone number saved in my phone. Which I am using now to write this. Right in front of the motherfucker.)
I come home from meeting a friend for coffee, and
Our neighbor, his recently referenced son, some other guy I’ve never met, and my husband are hanging out in our back yard. (Only two weeks ago, this would not have seemed in any way abnormal.) Aaaand now what?
UPDATE:
Fuck it, I’m going out there. Will report on anything relevant which I might deem sufficiently “non-identifying.” (Maybe will take anti-anxiety medication...
Exacerbations of a burden I'd already been...
It’s the start of a new school year. The gap between the time our youngest child is scheduled to get off the school bus, and her actual arrival, is sometimes as much as 30 minutes. When her sister was that age, we were just beginning to let her walk the three blocks home from the bus stop on her own. Between the (expected) irregularities in the bus schedule at the beginning of any school...
One night, a few weeks back
We had a party, and he came over. Made a bit of an ass of himself, easily attributable to drunkenness. He’d brought over some absinthe, which I’ve rarely had but quite enjoy. I was told to help myself, so I found where he’d left the bottle on our kitchen counter (OH MY GOD HE WAS IN OUR HOUSE, at least the kids were, I think, in bed by then but still), and was annoyed to find it...
I want to know more. (Well, "want" isn't really...
I could write off for police records that could help me know what things to be most vigilant about. But, it’s not an uncommon occurrence that we end up getting our neighbors’ mail, and vice-versa. (Seriously, it happens at least a few times per month.) And with my luck, an envelope indicating the name of a law enforcement agency from [state they moved here from], but addressed to me,...
And then I dreamed that I accidentally posted...
…and then some people who knew me told some other people who knew me and soon there were actual and proverbial pitchforks being waved at my neighbor and it was scary and I don’t know what to do, this is freaking me out but not writing about it would freak me out a lot harder.
Can't sleep, nightmares of my neighbor in a clown...
Just as I was finally dropping off to sleep, I had a dream that I was relaxing on the back porch, drinking some coffee and reading there like I do, when the neighbor showed up (didn’t walk up from next door, but just suddenly appeared) in some kind of deranged clown getup. Man. I HATE that guy.
A thank you
…to those who’ve emailed to share their questions and concerns, which may take some time and careful consideration for me to address. I will be in touch.
The thing about when your neighbor gives you a...
…is that after you find out he has a record for sex offenses against a child under the age of 10, it doesn’t look so tasty anymore.
The stew has not changed - it’s in our fridge right now. I’m sure it’d be fine to eat, and frankly, right now I’m starving.
Except the more I look at it, the sicker I feel.
And in my head, it has a new name, “Sex Offender...
mini-revelation #2
I’m spending about 25% of my usual time in the back yard, in the effort to avoid the theater of awkwardness it has become (the neighbor also spends a fair portion of his time in his yard; the way the lots are arranged, but for the flimsy fence, it’s really more like our yards are one big, open space.) Well, at least now I’ve got a decent excuse to avoid scooping dog poo.
mini-revelation #1
Big Bird’s cheerfully singing “These Are The People In Your Neighborhood” will never sound the same to me.
Also, this term "sex offender" is so lame.
It’s like - “how did sex get offended?” Or something. In any case, my using that term here doesn’t mean I accept it, and much of its baggage (think here persons on sex offender registries because of consensual, adult gay encounters happened upon by homophobic cops), uncritically. It’s meant, rather, to evoke the literal: The plain shock of finding our neighbor - who...
Youth minister accused of having sex with teen boy
I have snipped huge portions of this very worthwhile post from @tj (see its follow-up as well), initially in reaction to this news item to get to the following text:
funsizebytes:
Several folks pointed out to me that Virginia defines “sodomy” as either oral or anal sex, and outlaws both, regardless of age or gender…
[snip]
…Look, she was 36 and he was 15. It was wrong. She was...
Notes toward a mission statement.
I have been asked what my purpose is in creating this account.
The short answer is I’m still figuring that out. Writing about what is happening, even in a very fragmentary way, is the only way I know to process this sort of stuff (which I can’t talk about freely in any other sphere).
I can say what it isn’t for:
demonizing (with carries with it the impulse of vigilantism) -...
There is no un-creepy avatar I can think of for...
I have the neighbor’s mug shot and have been editing it in various ways in attempt to come up with something properly representational while also making it clear that I, the author of this account, am not the person in that shot.
So, for example, I took the mug shot and erased all but the outline, and superimposed over what was left an image of “Mr. Yuk.” (Remember? “Mr....
“My brother in law! He cracks me up. He’s soooo anal-retentive.”
– my neighbor with the aggravated sodomy conviction, earlier today.
National Sex Offender registry →
Search this and you too might be freaking out. Incidentally, I am quite aware that these registries are not perfect; that false convictions happen; that, by some measures, these registries may even be harmful (insofar as they may contribute to a false sense of safety - not all predators have convictions, of course - or of paranoia and vigilantism); and that due to homophobic “sodomy”...
A small item of clarification
I realized after this post that it might freak people out to see “myneighborisasexoffender is following you” in their Tumblr dashboards.
So, to be quite clear, I am not a sex offender. I am someone living next door to a sex offender (specifically, one with a child rape conviction) and I am more than a little freaked out about it.
Most folks I’m following from this account know...
Incidentally
If I’m following you on Tumblr, you might know me from around the Internets. Or not. That’s about all I can say.
An introductory post
A few days ago, we learned that our next door neighbor (who moved there a few months back) is a registered sex offender with a conviction for sodomy against a child under the age of 10. This Tumblr account will be the place where I attempt to address, anonymously, the extent to which this is freaking me the fuck out.
Rather than dumping the entire story (or those parts of the story I’ve...